"playing dress up begins at age 5 and never truly ends." -kate spade

Julia:

"I wish I had exciting news so I could rip off my pants!"

Me:

"uhh..."

Julia:

"cuz I have shorts on underneath 😉😉"

(Source: royalsgonewild, via maggie-mrm)

(Source: mod3rnology, via georgiapine)

Julia's friend:

"can you make sure my bike is still outside?"

My mom:

"I don't live in the hood! It ain't going anywhere!"

Julia's friend:

"but it isn't my bike to start with!"

My mom:

"oh, well, let me check then."

Reader:

Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret?

Lemony Snicket:

Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.

mmm.