"I wish I had exciting news so I could rip off my pants!"
"cuz I have shorts on underneath 😉😉"
"can you make sure my bike is still outside?"
"I don't live in the hood! It ain't going anywhere!"
"but it isn't my bike to start with!"
"oh, well, let me check then."
Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret?
Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.